It's Monday again

It happens every week yet it's refreshing every single time.  A new week has so many possibilities.
Our baby girl is on the verge of crawling and she's so determined.  I'm so proud of her.  She's managed to propel herself forward a couple of times but mostly she spins around and scoots backwards.  She's also pushed herself up to sitting a few times but she can't coordinate her arms to push herself all the way vertical yet.  She gets so frustrated when she gets stuck somewhere and she makes the cutest little roaring sound.  She sounds like a little tiger cub.  I love it.
Joey's getting more independent.  She's started lying about almost anything it seems.  Danny and I have been trying to teach her what it means to tell the truth and why it's so important.  We have our ups and downs with it.  Sometimes it gets really difficult but she's such a sweet girl.  She was sick the other day and for her bedtime prayers she prayed that none of her friends at school get sick.  And even though Danny and I have been teaching her about God and the Bible, it amazes me how much she gets it.  Faith like a child is really so clear when you see it in actuality everyday.  I struggle with trusting in God but she has no doubts.
Joey, Norah and I have been having regular family dance parties in the living room lately.  It's super fun.  Joey's bopping all over and Norah sings along (sings ahhhhhhh ahh ahh) and sometimes Joey lets me dance with her but mostly she tells me that she needs to do her own moves but then I dance with Norah and she just giggles through it all.  I love my girls.

Here's my meal plan of dinners for the week:
Monday: Barbequed ribs & green beans
Tuesday: Mac & Cheese w/ vegetable soup
Wednesday: Crock pot baked beans w/ biscuits & coleslaw
Thursday: Curry Chicken w/ stir-fry veg & rice
Friday: Chickpeas & Couscous w/dried cranberries & herb goat cheese
Saturday: Our 5th Anniversary & Date Night
Sunday: Breakfast for dinner (Eggs & Cinnamon Rolls)

I'll also be making egg salad today for lunches throughout the week and Veggie sticks for quick snacks.  Norah's been blazing through her baby food and she's tried just about all the basic food that I use on a regular basis and once I'm done clearing all the foods I can, I'll be making my own baby food from our regular meals with a simple baby food grinder.  I've already been making my own with some of the meals that have no questionable ingredients.  I've got a few more food to get through: broccoli, tomatoes, beef, pork, and dairy.  She no longer breaks out when I have processed dairy (cheese, yogurt, etc.) but when I have straight milk, it still seems to bother her little tummy.  :-( So, I'm still on soy milk for now but I'm going to see how she does with some baby yogurt herself this week.  If that goes well, I'll be making my own whole milk yogurt in large batches again.
Well, I'm off...Today is Norah's 6 month well visit and I'm excited to see how much she's grown.  And I need to talk to the doctor about sleep training possibilities.  She's still so petite that I just want to make sure there's no medical reason for her to be up every three hours all night long.  This momma needs some sleep

Things and things

So many things going on lately.  Where to begin.  I know I've been slacking lately in my blogging (sorry!), we had two computer's die on us in the past few weeks.  Ok, not die per se but make themselves unusable for the time being.  The laptop will no longer take a charge but otherwise works fine, we just can't get any juice in it too use it, Danny took it apart and fixed what he could but he thinks there's a small component in the power system that needs to be replaced.  Then our desktop got a virus (at least it waited until Danny finished his finals).  So now we are sans a computer with Word which means that one (preferably both of them) need(s) to be fixed before the fall semester begins.  It's honestly a good thing that Danny hadn't gotten around to cleaning out our old desktop otherwise I'd not be typing now.
So, now that Danny's through with finals we've begun planning how exactly our move to Colorado is going to work.  We'll either be moving in March or May of 2012.  That's what we've narrowed it down to. We probably won't finalize a date until Danny either finds work, or begins school again, whichever comes first.  If he's able to find a decent job to tide us over until March, we'd prefer to move sooner.  If he's not able to find work, then he'll go back to school in the fall and we'll wait until the end of the spring semester.
I had my oh so fun glucose test on Wednesday.  Lord knows that's always fun.  But for once, I got a phlebotomist that not only found my vein on the first try but managed it without me wincing.  Usually it takes a few tries before they're able to find a vein on me.  I was pleasantly surprised.  I also had a neurologist appointment on Thursday which took way longer than I thought it would.  But it turned out pretty good.  The doctor thinks I just have a really bad case of restless leg syndrome which he recommends that I take iron supplements and magnesium for (horray for the homeopathic!).  I'd so rather take vitamins than medication.  He also suggested something I find totally silly, putting a bar of Ivory brand soap in between my sheets at night while I sleep.  He said he doesn't get it either but enough people have said that it helps, that it's made it's way into the medical literature.  (WOW right?)
Danny sold our Saturn today! And boy oh boy did we need that, I'm still not sure if we'll be getting his SSI this month so it's nice to know where at least rent is coming from this month.  Yay for small blessings.  It's one less thing on my mind.  Danny's been working really hard at streamlining our household assets as well.  We're trying to get rid of all the things that we're not planning on taking with us to Colorado when we move.  So, I've gotten rid of clothes and we're going through books and selling off what we can and giving away what we can't.
Danny's even been trying to sell off some of his non-essential musical instruments and the things that go with them.  I'm so proud of him.  He's really trusting God to provide for us when we get out there and I know that it's really hard for a musician to part with his instruments and I'm just so proud of him.
Joey and I are almost finished with our third book in the little house series.  She's really been enjoying it. She calls the books Ma & Pa, which I think is just super cute!  Every time I say that I'm going to read some more, she asks if we can read all the pages, and I have to explain that we most likely won't get to all the pages since it's nearly time for bed.  But it's become a really great wind down routine before bed time & nap time.
Now, if only I could figure out how to keep my living room clean, but that's a project for another day.  Joey's making me a tea party while I'm making lunch so I should jet.  Tootles!

God is Faithful

I have been burning myself out lately as some of you may know.  Working, being a mom, pregnant, looking for work, Danny's been in school full time (he finished his last final today) and has been looking for work himself (we're hoping to here this week on a job that we think would be a perfect fit for him).  We've been struggling but scraping by and it's just a world of stress. 
We decided that this year we were both going to try and carve out time for ourselves to have some alone time before the baby comes.  Our church has an annual Women's Retreat that has really kept me from going over the edge the last two years that I attended (courtesy of some lovely ladies that gave me anonymous scholarships).  I was beyond grateful. 
This year Danny and I decided that no matter what I would go and we would trust God to come up with whatever funds were needed to make that happen.  Then two weeks ago, all hell broke lose with our finances and we still felt like God meant for me to go but we now had less than what we needed in our bank account and my unemployment was under review and our utilities were cut off and Social Security threaten to pull Danny's SSI due to our bank changing names.  UGH, right? 
So, we've been trusting God with it and been honest with the people around us.  Our church blessed us by paying a god portion of our rent after we had to use the money we had for it to get our lights turned back on.  I've been on the phone with Unemployment everyday for nearly two weeks to make sure that they aren't cutting me off.  The ladies had a last minute scholarship open up for half of the cost of the retreat for me.  But we still had only $2 in our bank account and no gas in the car.  I had to decided for the final count yesterday whether I would go or not, even though nothing had come through yet.  We still felt like it was something that I needed and that I should go.  So, I told them that I was going and made arrangements to pay the weekend afterwards. 
Today, I finally hear that Unemployment is back on track and according to my balance I'm getting all of my back weeks benefits that I've been waiting on, deposited in our account, TOMORROW!  Yay!  I can pay to go to the retreat.  Danny's done with finals.  My in-laws gave us a little gas money to hold us over.  Hopefully, Danny will be able to get to a clinic today after his other dr's appointment (he's not been feeling well).  I should now be able to get things worked out with SSI this week now that I know what I'll be receiving from Unemployment.  Then hopefully, I'll be able to get things in order to file for hardship with the utility company once I have my paperwork from Unemployment and SSI so that they can't shut us off again. 
Things plummeted very fast and now they're back on the upswing.  God is good and faithful!  And sometimes we just have to take that leap of faith and trust Him before we can see what's coming.

Provision and more

So, I don't know if I've mentioned how much I adore our church.  Danny and I as many of you readers know are in a serious financial pinch lately.  Our church is so lovely, upon hearing about the whole mess with the Energy Assistance program/ our electric company, they are giving us the money to cover our missing rent this month.  I am beyond grateful.  God is so GOOD!

I am currently fighting with Unemployment Insurance over my current claim/extension/something about a new claim that I have to make but am not eligible for because I work for a non-profit.  I don't know but they're not making a decision in any kind of timely manner.  And I've called them everyday this week and gotten a different answer about the same questions but no results.  Why must the headache be so redundant.  I've accepted that I'm not eligible for the new claim, I'm ok with that.  I kind of have to be, it's the law and it's not up for negotiation.  So, why not just drop it and let me keep what I've got.  It seems like so much work on their part, to fight for me to get something we both know I can't have, when I'm not asking for it.  I just need my check this week (and next for that matter) to pay for things like gas and rent and our other bills that are all due at the beginning of the month. 

I hate bureaucracy! I've never understood the point of making people jump through hoops for things that they need.  Have some compassion and just do your job efficiently.  It makes the most sense for everyone involved.  But, I'm keeping calm about it all, and I'm having faith.  God will make what needs to happen, happen. 

On a totally other note, I finished cutting my pieces for Norah's baby quilt.  It's looking so cute.  Joey helped me pick out all the fabrics and they're just perfect.  The colors match her baby quilt but aren't quite the same.  I'm also going to be using a different pattern to make Norah's so that they're sure not to get confused.  I'm very excited for it.  It's going to be such fun to make.  I just need to give myself time to get the house back to a state of clean before busting out another mess.  I'm almost there.  Some of the pieces of my last project are still lingering around.  Joey likes to 'help' so, things wind up a little bit of everywhere. 

Sunday Reflections

So, I'm enjoying some last few minutes of quiet before Sunday morning really begins.  Next week is Mother's Day and I'm almost in shock to think that next year, I'll have two little girls to celebrate with.  It makes my heart smile.  Joey is just getting so big and I almost can't believe that my pregnancy is winding down again.  And soon our bustling little household of three will be a household of four.  We still don't know how we're going to make all the schedules work, but somehow, it will.  God will provide, that I'm sure of.
The weather's getting warmer and it's so fun to be outside.  I love spring.  The only thing that would make spring better for me would be if I had a yard to plant in.  I was talking to my grandmother the other day, and I was telling her how I ache to garden and plant things.  She said simply, 'we come from farmers, it's in your blood.'  How true that is!  She grew up on a farm, my mom grew up on a farm, I spent my summers growing up on a farm.  There's nothing like it in the world.  No city can compare to it.  No matter where I go, it's with me.  My heart longs to farm, to have my life ebb and flow with the seasons.  I can't escape it, and I can barely contain it.  I feel most myself and most connected to God when I'm doing something with my hands or when I'm out in nature.  It's my home.
It makes me yearn more for our move to Colorado.  I've been peeking at places out there only sporadically since we postponed the move, but it makes me excited to know that since cost of living is so much lower out there and since the lifestyle out there lends itself more to self-sufficiency, I might actually be able to have a yard, or at least a little piece of land to dig in and grow things.  We are just floundering here sometimes.
There is so much pressure in New-England to perform, perform, perform! And with the job market being so flooded, and work being so hard to find (and neither of us having found any in quite some time), it'll be really nice for the change of pace.  Not to mention the change in cost of things.  Generally, the cost of living out in CO is 60% of what it is here.  Such a big cut for us since we're living in a constant state of deficit.
For those of you not up to date on our finances: We have 0 money.  We're living off of Social Security Supplemental Income, Unemployment benefits, my part-time wages, food stamps, coupons and anything we can save after books from Danny's Pell Grant from school.  It's not much and it doesn't sustain us.  We haven't paid our utilities in over a year and we just keep praying that the lights stay on, but we have no means to pay them.  It's all we can do to keep the rent paid and food on the table and diapers of Joey's tush (though hopefully not much longer on that last one).  Now, our SSI got pulled, though I'm hoping that's just a technicality due to our bank changing names.  One of us needs to find work or some means of support SOON.  But God hasn't shown us where that will be coming from yet.  We keep looking but we're not finding.
Any prayers you'd be willing to throw up for us would be greatly appreciated.  We sure could use the extra intercession.  Danny's finishing up finals this month and he's trying to figure out if God even means for him to go back to school in the fall or if he needs to work (should he be able to find any).  It's a rough road we're on.  There's a light not only at the end of it but not too far off by the way of Colorado, but the mean time however is totally unclear to us.
Well, I should go wake up the family and get us moving and ready for church.  I'm excited for what God has in store for us.  I just wish that I could see it a little better.

Sunny Sunday

Sometimes, having the extra energy from not waiting tables anymore, is so nice.  As stressful as it is when folks don't show up, I was refreshed by having other people step up and help out today and fill in those gaps.  I am able to love people more the less I'm working in a direct serving role.  My job at the church is totally a serving role but I'm not being inundated by people wanting more from me with no regard for what it does to me.  I am surrounded by people who love me and want me to succeed.
And now that I'm taking the time to step back and allowing myself to take some space when I need it, I'm seeing more people's willingness to be involved whereas before I would've just done myself and then been irritated that no one wanted to step up.  I'm seeing now that if I want to have others help out, I need to express my limits and just do it all myself.  But as I'm doing this, I'm seeing more people step up and volunteer.  It's been really helpful to my view of Christian community.
Then, I got home and took a nap while Joey napped.  After that, Danny got home from is adventures this afternoon, and we had a quick PB&J dinner and were off to the grocery store.  I was able to really focus on what I was buying and got things that I really needed.  Lately, I've been finding myself one or two key ingredients short of a recipe(UGH).  But today, I had a very specific list and Danny hung out in the Starbucks and studied while Joey and I shopped.  I got all the fixin's for bean burritos,  chicken tikka masala, grilled cheese and tomato soup, spagettios(sp.) were Joey's request for the week and some other little leftover makeover meals.  Yay me! I feel like I'm getting my brain in order.  I even got a laundry bag so that I can do laundry again and actually get the laundry down the stairs without Danny's help.  So that's my little victory for the day, a successful shopping trip.  Woo Hoo!

The rain

Usually the rain makes me feel like curling up in a ball and reading a good book.  But today, it feels cleansing and refreshing.  Joey woke up early this morning, it seems she has a little cold.  But she came into bed with Danny and I and fell back asleep and then slept late.  I actually had to wake her up after a bit to ensure a nap later.  I'm feeling uber-productive.  I've already done dishes, made breakfast, started making yogurt, did Joey's hair and did her school for the day.  Today we worked on tracing lines and the Alphabet and matching, we also have some Sesame Street You Tubes that we watch at least a few times a week to teach her things like counting and rhythm and things that we did.  I've got way more on my agenda for the day but I can do it.
Last night at Care Group(what our church calls Bible Study) I got some really good prayer and it just pushed every last bit of that depression out of me and I left feeling really encouraged and ready do keep doing what I feel like God has been calling me to do to prepare to move out to Colorado.
So, the rest of my list for the day is as follows:
*Finish the yogurt
*Make Irish Soda bread
*Do two loads of laundry
*Take out the trash (I cleaned out a closet a few days ago and have yet to take the trash from that closet down our three flights)
*Try and search for my maternity pants from two+ years ago
*Make a plan for turning Joey's favorite bed-time story into a children's book
*Try to remember to do my daily Lenten devotional during nap-time

I can do it.  I know I can.

Finances and provision

So, I've had this thing going on in my head about my situation and how I/we got to where we are.  It may come off a little rant-like but please bear with me.  I swear I have a point and I'm not as upset by it all as I may come across before the end.  

As some of you know, Danny and I are in a bit of a financial pickle.  A lot of circumstances and personal choices have led us to where we are.  I am not writing this to place blame on others because I am aware of the choices that I/we have made to get us to where we are.  But at the same time, I feel much of it could have been avoided if some of the systems that I/we have fought against hadn't been so rigid and uncaring.  

Currently, Danny and I have very little income of our own.  I am only working part-time, as I've not been able to find anything more and Danny is in school full-time thanks to a lovely federal Pell Grant that covers the whole of tuition plus enough left over for books and transportation.  I am also still receiving unemployment benefits and Danny is receiving Social Security Supplemental Income (SSI).  All of us are on State funded health-care, and we receive EBT benefits for food.  The majority of our income comes from tax-payer funded sources.  Now, I am beyond grateful that these things exist and I am more and more understanding of people who need them.  Which, I think has taught me much compassion and tolerance that I have severely been lacking in my life.  I honestly feel like God has been using this experience to not only teach me/us to be better stewards of our money but also to expose us to people outside of our comfort zone and to teach us to love them in a new way.  

That being said, with funds nearing the end and benefits being cut left and right due to budget demands and lack of funds on the other end to finance as many people who are out of work and are left to rely on them, I am wondering if perhaps we'd not be in this predicament if just somewhere along the way, there had been more flexibility back when I was trying to get funding to go to college.  I fought for years to try and gain in-state status when I was in school and was constantly denied even though I haven't lived with my parents since I went off to college at 17 and then got my own apartment at 18.  I also tried getting loans and grants and scholarships to help me pay for college and I was nearly always denied.  I had excellent credit for my age but since I was a single female under 24, they wouldn't let me file FAFSA or anything else alone.  And with my father being a business owner, they considered the equity of his business as income and denied me anything.  Then I moved back to CT, and thought surely I'd be able to afford college here.  I was able to get in-state status just fine, but the cost of living was so much higher that I couldn't ever seem to save up enough to get me started because I still couldn't get grants or loans.  

Finally someone said to me that unless I was 24 years old or married, I'd not be able to apply without my parents being attached.  So, I decided to wait.  Then, I met Danny and we got married when I was 24, had our beautiful daughter when I was 25 and now I'm 28 and expecting our 2nd little one.  I wonder where time went to.  I still have intentions to go back but now, I'm at the point where when I do go back to school, my income is at the point where it'll surely be paid by grants and loans.  But I can't help but feel tax-payers (myself included) would have been saved so much money if only I'd not been denied the grants and the student-loans the first time around.  

It makes me wonder how many other people are in similar situations and wonder if the unemployment rate wouldn't be as high right now if people had the chance at more education.  It makes me wonder if we would perhaps not have the governmental deficit that we have it weren't such a battle to make something better of yourself.  

Then on the other side of it all.  After being on assistance from many sides for so long and then finding some work even though it's only part-time.  My un-employment benefits get slashed, my food stamps benefits get slashed and then Danny's SSI goes down all because I'm trying to get out of the situation that I'm in.  But it's not at all tied together.  I've gained approx. $50/month working over what I was making on unemployment alone, yet because of it. We lose $250 dollars in SSI and $150 dollars in food stamps. I wonder sometimes what they're thinking.  How to they think that gaining $50 = losing $400 and that somehow I'm supposed to just be ok with it.  They've got the system set up so that people are penalized tremendously for trying to get out of their situation.  Which just lends them to being in a bigger whole than where they started.  There needs to be reform and there needs to be awareness and people need to know that there is a chance to start over not just a chance to squeak by for the rest of their lives.  

I don't know what to do other than try and get things to change but how does one implement change from the bottom?  How does one get their story heard?  How does one balance fighting to make it better while still trying to fight to make it through the day?  How can one plan for the future when today seems uncertain itself.  

days go on, meal plans change

So, yesterday I did a crap ton of cleaning.  I cleaned out all the toys under the couch, I swept and vacuumed.  I did three loads of laundry, I'd have done more but I ran out of quarters.  I cleaned out the vacuum and learned how to fix it when it gets clogged.  I cleaned Joey's room and cleaned what I could of our room in spite of the mountain of laundry still in need of washing.  Then I hosted Care Group this week.  Which mad me super happy.  I've been wanting to host a care group for a while but it's never quite been the right time.  I'd love to host more regularly but with Danny's class schedule it might not be the best idea to start that just yet.
I love that I finally had the energy to get the house clean.  Clean spaces make me smile.  Second trimester, I think I love you the best!  Danny and I went out to this really awesome little Mexican Diner here in West Haven.  The food was So good.  I've had better Chicken Mole but not for as cheap as it was there.  Even at that, it was only slightly better.  And the homemade sauces were so fresh and yummy.  Danny, of course, was in heaven because the staff spoke Spanish.  Joey was being a bit of a trouble maker and we had to leave quicker than planned.  The food was so yummy.  Danny says that he might even want to have his family birthday dinner there.
I don't know what had Joey so worked up today but she just wouldn't go down for her nap.  She's been in her bed either chatting or yelling for me to come get her since 2 and it's nearly 4:30 now and she just quieted down maybe 10 minutes ago.  I can't let her sleep too late or she won't go to bed on time tonight.  Ugh.  The sucky thing is that when she's yelling for me, I can't even really go into the kitchen or the bathroom without the yelling getting louder.
So, I've had to put off making dinner.  I'm thinking that I'm going to have to switch up my dinner plans because of it.  I was planning on Chicken Tikka Masala but I can't exactly go whipping up the sauce without using the blender and waking my little sleeper.  Grr.  I don't know what to make now.  I have a meal plan for the week but maybe I'll have to tweek it a little.  But what to swap out is the question.  Oh well.  Off to my planning.

Late Night Ramblings

So, I have this funny little new habit of watching Netflix.com instant movies before bed when I don't have to be up early and they always lead to pondering.  I love a good movie that leads to some good pondering.   So, one thing I've never been good at in life is throwing things away.  I much prefer to reuse and re-purpose and usually this is a very good thing and not one that I intend to give up anytime soon.  But as I've not moved very many times in the span of my lifetime, I tend to accumulate a lot of crap.  All stuff that my artist mind sees potential in and a purpose for.  I have a very hard time letting go.
But (there's always a but isn't there?), Danny and I are on a mission to relinquish as much of our junk as possible before we move.  For several reasons:  One, it will probably cost nearly as much to move it all to Colorado as it would to purchase something fresh once we're there.  Two, we see this journey as a fresh start of sorts and bring along all of our physical baggage wouldn't so much be helpful.  Three, a purge every now and again is a good thing.  Four, living more plainly could only lead to good things.  Five, when Christ speaks of selling all you have and giving to the poor, he's not only speaking metaphorically.
This year Danny and I are on a mission to hand make as many of our Christmas presents for folks as we can, this is helping to clear some of our stores of 'useful' items.  I have also gotten Joey in on the act and she's been hand making her gifts to the family (with a little help from mom).
I would like to find a consignment shop that will take my handmade fairs off of my hands, and actually be able to sell them (if only Etsy.com weren't so pricey sometimes).  In all fairness, their prices are actually reasonable but my priority has to be keeping my family warm and fed.  There never seems to be any money left over after all that.  I wish it weren't always that way but then again, just one more reason we're moving.
So, what brought on all this pondering you might ask.  Well, I was watching Confessions of a Shopaholic.  And the main character spends the whole movie trying to learn the difference between cost and worth.  A big lesson for anyone, I think.  I honestly hope that I can get this one down someday.  Because, I definitely don't have it yet.
I can know how much something costs and the things that are worth most to me are not the most expensive, I have a different problem.  I attribute too much worth to things that cost me little to nothing at all.  I figure, if I can turn something that cost nothing to me into something of greater value, then it's worth all the world.
Now, this idea works great in Kingdom Theology (just to drop a little Christian-ese on you all).  Where all is gained when all is lost and the thing that should be worth all the world actually costs us nothing at all.  But how much can we expect this to be a part of our lives in the world? Does Kingdom Theology in this aspect have any practical and tangible repercussions on how we live our lives?  And, if so, how does one gather the strength to keep trying to let go when all the world tells us to hang on for dear life?
I'm trying to hard to throw away...and give away...and get rid of...and, and, and. But I'm just finding it so diffficult.  I've never been much of a person interested in having the newest and coolest and funnest toys.  I do enjoy it when I am able to have something nice, but to me it matters more that it was gotten at the best price possible and is it the product that will last the longest.  Not, the most horrible thing granted, but where do you draw the line between cost and worth?  At what point did it take more time finding the bargain than it was actually worth it? And when do you force yourself to draw the line and say, enough is enough?
Where that line is, is a total difference between Danny and I.  I'll push on the the dear end searching for a better deal, and Danny has no problem saying, "You know what it's worth the possible extra X amount of dollars to just not have to worry about it anymore." I don't think I have that switch.  Yet, I think that having such a switch would make this whole purging thing so much easier.  I'm at the point where all I can say is, "I don't know how to do this.  I really have no idea how this is done, someone needs to help me."  And of course admitting that I need help is not something that I am terribly good at either.  

The Obama tax compromise

So Danny and I have been on the edge of our seats for a while hoping that Senate would come to some kind of agreement for our sakes.  Since I've still not been able to find a full time job yet and we'd really like to be able to follow God's call for us to CO and our hope is to use about half of our tax refund check to pay off some debt and get in the good graces of our utility companies once again.
Now, since I've not been working much really our income is down quite a bit from last year but I intentionally don't declare all of our exemptions that we're allowed because I always feel that I'd rather be owed a refund then have to come up with a payment last minute.  It also forces me to save my thoughts of wants for big purchases which usually cuts my wants down by half or more.
I'm determined to make the most of our money but at the same time, I don't want to just buy things because I'm getting a good deal.
Danny and I are currently trying to purge the house of all unnecessary 'things' in preparation to move 2/3 of the way across the country.  We're going to be giving things away and selling things of value and in hopes that CO can be a fresh start for us.  A leaner lifestyle for us, learning to repurpose things that either don't fit anymore or things that get damaged, learning to buy less, learning to save more when we do buy.
God says that when we are good stewards of what he blesses us with, He will be faithful and provide.  To me that means, that debt begets more debt and frugalness should beget fruitfulness.  This is of course, is just a theory of mine that I've not known firsthand to be true for a long time now.
I was just moved my the President's address today, and I just had to write something.  Since, I've been waiting in hope that the tax cuts would be extended to provide Danny and I the funds that we're hoping for and today I've been put at ease.  And I talked to Danny on Sunday about my fears on Sunday and we decided that even if this wasn't how God was planning on providing for our move, that he'd provide for us somehow, if this was indeed that move he has planned for us.