Sunday Reflections

So, I'm enjoying some last few minutes of quiet before Sunday morning really begins.  Next week is Mother's Day and I'm almost in shock to think that next year, I'll have two little girls to celebrate with.  It makes my heart smile.  Joey is just getting so big and I almost can't believe that my pregnancy is winding down again.  And soon our bustling little household of three will be a household of four.  We still don't know how we're going to make all the schedules work, but somehow, it will.  God will provide, that I'm sure of.
The weather's getting warmer and it's so fun to be outside.  I love spring.  The only thing that would make spring better for me would be if I had a yard to plant in.  I was talking to my grandmother the other day, and I was telling her how I ache to garden and plant things.  She said simply, 'we come from farmers, it's in your blood.'  How true that is!  She grew up on a farm, my mom grew up on a farm, I spent my summers growing up on a farm.  There's nothing like it in the world.  No city can compare to it.  No matter where I go, it's with me.  My heart longs to farm, to have my life ebb and flow with the seasons.  I can't escape it, and I can barely contain it.  I feel most myself and most connected to God when I'm doing something with my hands or when I'm out in nature.  It's my home.
It makes me yearn more for our move to Colorado.  I've been peeking at places out there only sporadically since we postponed the move, but it makes me excited to know that since cost of living is so much lower out there and since the lifestyle out there lends itself more to self-sufficiency, I might actually be able to have a yard, or at least a little piece of land to dig in and grow things.  We are just floundering here sometimes.
There is so much pressure in New-England to perform, perform, perform! And with the job market being so flooded, and work being so hard to find (and neither of us having found any in quite some time), it'll be really nice for the change of pace.  Not to mention the change in cost of things.  Generally, the cost of living out in CO is 60% of what it is here.  Such a big cut for us since we're living in a constant state of deficit.
For those of you not up to date on our finances: We have 0 money.  We're living off of Social Security Supplemental Income, Unemployment benefits, my part-time wages, food stamps, coupons and anything we can save after books from Danny's Pell Grant from school.  It's not much and it doesn't sustain us.  We haven't paid our utilities in over a year and we just keep praying that the lights stay on, but we have no means to pay them.  It's all we can do to keep the rent paid and food on the table and diapers of Joey's tush (though hopefully not much longer on that last one).  Now, our SSI got pulled, though I'm hoping that's just a technicality due to our bank changing names.  One of us needs to find work or some means of support SOON.  But God hasn't shown us where that will be coming from yet.  We keep looking but we're not finding.
Any prayers you'd be willing to throw up for us would be greatly appreciated.  We sure could use the extra intercession.  Danny's finishing up finals this month and he's trying to figure out if God even means for him to go back to school in the fall or if he needs to work (should he be able to find any).  It's a rough road we're on.  There's a light not only at the end of it but not too far off by the way of Colorado, but the mean time however is totally unclear to us.
Well, I should go wake up the family and get us moving and ready for church.  I'm excited for what God has in store for us.  I just wish that I could see it a little better.